We’ve ALL been there lads.
The dread in the morning going to work.
The dread when people make plans and you just, quite simply, want to do nothing, say nothing and stay at home.
The dread when you find yourself in a space or place that doesn’t feel ‘quite right’…
So how do you know when it’s time to try and break the cycle and get out of that negative space you are finding yourself in?
Ask yourself these simple questions:
1. Are you happy right now? Really and truly happy?
2. Are you finding yourself always focusing on the past with rose-tinted glasses or the future with dread?
3. Do you ever feel comfortable in the moment?
4. Do you take time for yourself?
5. Do you invest in yourself? Your education, your skills, your hobbies?
6. Do you treat yourself and keep yourself well? Your hair, your skin, your body, your diet?
7. Do you take time to ‘just be’- really and truly relax?
8. Do you feel guilty if you spend money or time on yourself?
9. Do you feel stressed or anxious all the time?
10. Do you get enough sleep, naps or rest?
These simple questions will give the answers you need to start to make a change. The really easy thing is this. You can change any of them. Really easily. Read on…
Here are my suggestions to the above:
1. If you are you will feel it. Not perfect, but content. If you’re not, it’s not a bad thing, but life is short, so try a few of the recommendations below.
2. If you find yourself always looking back, think back to why. Was it that you did something you love that you no longer do, or was there a person in your past that you havn’t let go or don’t see often enough perhaps?
3. If you’re always on your phone, you are doing life wrong. I don’t care what age you are. It’s totally natural to be able to have a conversation without checking your phone. And if you keep doing it, don’t expect me to stay sitting across from you. It’s rude. (unless you are trying to meet up with someone or there is an issue obvs).
4. Making time for yourself is key. That might be washing your makeup brushes, going for a walk, baking, swimming, gym time, getting your nails done or just settling down with a good book. Give yourself at least15 minutes of this a day. Squeeze it in. I DARE you.
5. A healthy mind will nurture a healthy body. Give yourself the gift of knowledge as often as you can afford to. If you can’t, there are plenty of free courses you can sign up to. Just use your pal google.
6. For some people, it’s very easy for them to decide not to wash their hair or decide to put on a little makeup (and no I’m not recommending everyone needs to wear makeup) but some people simply get out of bed and go about their day. I’m telling you this for nothing. Put in the effort (even a tiny bit), get the nails done every so often, get your colour done by a professional, get your hair trimmed regularly, buy the shoes and use the fancy candles. Life is just too bloody short and if you can afford a takeaway at the weekend or a few drinks after work, you can afford to spend time and money on yourself!
7. For me, I only FULLY switch off on a sun holiday or a new place when I’m travelling. I don’t know what it is but the sun makes me completely switch gear and I run on sun cream and terrible books and nothing else. I also switch off on big long hikes. Both of these are essential for my mental health and I do not compromise on them.
8. I find that quite a few mums I know tend to find it very difficult to spend on themselves- time and money. Believe me, if you give number 1 some self-love, you will be a nicer person to everyone around you. FACT.
9. We all suffer with stress and anxiety at various times in our lives. And as humans, we thrive on little dips in and out of this ‘fight or flight’ feeling. However, if this kind of feeling is preventing you from doing things, meeting people, or taking that next leap, it’s time to share your thoughts with someone. A problem shared is a problem halved folks.
10. I cannot stress how important healthy sleep patterns are. Your body does all of its recovery and repair when you sleep. So if you don’t sleep, your body simply cannot function properly.
I hope that sincerely, none of you feel stuck in this kind of space for too long. Get out of the house, even if it’s for 30 minutes, get up and move and you will feel better!